It is not uncommon now to find women being breadwinners of the family or relationship. Different circumstances, in a relationship and external, can lead to such a development or arrangement. Sometimes, you meet someone during an unemployment spell, they lose their job during the relationship or simply cannot keep a job for long or their finances in order.
7 Important things to consider before dumping your unemployed boyfriend
My boyfriend is unemployed, should I leave him? Consider these conditions to make the right decision.
Questions on what to do, "my boyfriend doesn't have a job, should I leave him?" are tricky because you are emotionally invested even though something doesn't feel right.
It is never a clear-cut solution. You may risk being insensitive on one hand or putting your finances and values in trouble on the other.
Feeling frustrated, stuck, and even scared that the guy you're dating is unemployed. If you are wondering whether to break up with him or stand by him, here are seven noteworthy things to help you decide.
1. Why he doesn't have a job
A constantly changing economy comes with unexpected job loss and many people find themselves drifting between jobs or a dry spell at some point.
But if you're wondering about his situation chances are he's either putting in little effort to find work or simply doesn't want to get back into the field. If he's simply struggling to find work, you can have more patience, However, in the above explanations, you are right to be less understanding.
2. How long he has been unemployed
According to career experts, it can take up to seven months to get a new job from the moment you apply to when you're hired. If his situation is more recent, he simply needs more time, but that duration also depends on other factors.
A year, years, and a pattern of losing jobs, might be a sign that he has bad habits to work through and might not change with time.
3. His feelings about not having a job
How your boyfriend feels about his status shows deeper character than his current circumstances. If he's feeling down about it, it signals that it matters to him, if he's confident, positive, and upbeat about getting a job, his determination and focus might even warm you.
Being out of work takes a lot out of men compared to women. Many men have their self-worth in a relationship tied to their ability to provide.
The red flag is a relaxed boyfriend who looks happier being out of work. If he can't be bothered to take up job searching and enjoys his days lounging around.
4. How much he relies on you
Unemployment comes with two demanding support roles: financial and emotional support. Think about how his status is affecting you. In long-term relationships, support is a two-way street during difficult times. So it would be devastating to be abandoned during a tough time.
However, this support works within healthy boundaries to avoid extra pressure and exploitation. If he's expecting you to take care of him or feels entitled in any way, you might want to consider.
5. How you are supporting and encouraging him
It's normal to wonder how to deal with an unemployed boyfriend, it can be challenging to know what the best course of action is.
If you like him, you will want to help him even if it's up to him to find himself a job.
There are things you can do like: sitting with him to find a strategy and letting him know you believe in him. After discussing the situation, keep encouraging him and avoid interrogating him about his progress. It is his responsibility to tell you and to find the job.
7. What he is doing while unemployed
How he feels about his situation is a good indicator but what he does with his time is a better indicator. His actions might suggest that he doesn't feel bad about being unemployed or even positive he will get a job.
Hanging out with friends instead of actively looking for work, playing video games, or watching TV rather than investing time to improve his marketable skills.
Does he have ambitions or goals that he works toward? What is his drive? These usually determine how someone spends his time, resources, and habits that go toward the life they want.
Ultimately, communication is key in a relationship. Being able to talk about his situation can offer you insight into what to do.
A professional matchmaker Alessandra Conti told Elite Daily in an interview:
“I have learned if a man has yet to find a satisfying career, he has trouble even beginning to think about a serious relationship. Casual sex, yes. A Tinder meet-up? Sure. But a meaningful, long-term relationship? Maybe in a few years."
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