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There are habitual and unhealthy sex values that affect how we experience sexual intimacy in relationships. Without changing them, all other efforts to improve sex can fall short.
The way we experience sex has a lot to do with tradition, culture, and beliefs around sex, ourselves, and our partners. This can put a limit on our capacity to enjoy sexual intimacy, both physically and mentally.
The beauty of it is that no matter your beliefs, tradition, or culture, these tips can improve your sex life without affecting your personal reservations.
Here are some tips that can help you build new healthy values around sex.
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Make pleasure the focus instead of performance
Performance can be impacted by situations, health, and other things that are beyond our control. However, pleasure can be attained despite circumstances. Plus it's a positive motivator, unlike performance which can put pressure on a partner and encourage selfishness.
Make fun the priority
Treat sex as play with a priority of having fun. This allows you to relax, be yourself, and be more comfortable exploring and communicating. This uninhibited approach can take away some of the seriousness that can be restrictive.
This also means that expectations and pressures like duration, orgasms, who gets what first, and how many times, are eliminated.
Normalise insecurities and treat them with care
Allow room for insecurities and handle them as they come with the sensitivity they call for. This can mean compromising on certain things and finding ways to accommodate them so that they don't limit either of you.
Alternate between giving and receiving
Sexual intimacy comes with intense vulnerability. That includes the capacity to give and allow yourself to receive pleasure and attention. Taking turns is a nice way of navigating this area without so much focus going on one person or thing.
Talk about it
Have open conversations about personal preferences, fantasies, expectations, desires, and boundaries. This way each person will have an understanding of the other's needs and wants and be able to manage them. This can encourage novelty in form of positions, toys, and outfits.
Takeaway
Sexual intimacy is a personal affair that is shared with chosen people. It is therefore important to have control of how you experience it and how you share it. Unhealthy and unhelpful habits and beliefs can make it a complex issue and turn it into a chore or a matter of expectations. Adopting new ways of navigating it like the ones suggested above can be beneficial.