In some families, marriage is the endgame your parents and relatives want for you. They may start to drop hints, set you up with potential suitors or outright ask you when you are tying the knot.
How to handle family pressure to get married
Creating a healthy conversation around a marriage plan is vital for you and your family. Here's how to handle the pressure to get married.
It might be due to religious values, tradition, or culture in the family. However, this often well-meaning conduct can put emotional and mental pressure on the receiver. Even when you are ready to get married or it is in your plans, this kind of pressure can be off-putting.
It can also blind you to your own relationship or dating values and leave you feeling distressed.
So while you cannot change your family's minds on the matter, here are some ideas on how to handle the situation to your benefit.
Your parent's anxiety is not your responsibility
Whatever concerns your parents have over you not getting married are not your making. Their worries may include things like your "biological clock" or the like but it is not your job to make them any less anxious. The start of something beautiful like marriage or love may not be as good with feelings of guilt.
Enforce your boundaries in conversation
When the topic of dating or marriage comes up, show gratitude for their concern but communicate what you wish to discuss and not discuss at the moment. This will not stop them from asking but you will feel better if you remove yourself from engaging on the topic.
Accept any feelings of anger on the matter
Anger is an important emotion because it triggers self-protection. However, it is usually displayed in negative ways which can make us feel guilty and ashamed for feeling it towards the people we love. But it doesn't make you disloyal or bad, it only means that your boundaries are being crossed.
Acknowledge how you have sought approval and avoided conflict
Usually, when you have a habit of meeting expectations to gain approval or avoid conflict, it is hard to do any different. There's nothing wrong with this, however, but simply acknowledge if it is what you are doing.
Celebrate wanting true love
Appreciate yourself for wanting true love for yourself in any other form. Appreciate your romantic side and your dreams of a fulfilling love life regardless of the desires of your family.
Family and parental disapproval can be overwhelming to stifle a sense of self. Creating some space between yourself and them to make the right personal choices. This doesn't mean rebelling, which only makes your feelings worse honestly, it means creating a healthy conversation around your future.
Remember, your family is not doing this out of malice or to hurt, so it is important to make sure you are not hurt by expressing yourself on the issue.
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