8 classy ways to turn down money requests

Because of the awkwardness, some people prefer to not open some messages, while others choose silence to avoid the conversation. If you manage to have the conversation, it might stir some strong emotions resulting from: the amount, the problem and personal financial situation.

Fortunately, there are tried and true ways to turn down someone without stressing yourself or escalating the issue. This way, you can also establish boundaries for future encounters.

1. Listen

Give the other person time to explain what is going on and the nature of their problem. Whatever the outcome, they will feel respected and cared for. Saying no too fast might leave them feeling hurt, insulted or ignored.

2. Give yourself time

Ask them for time to think about your decision, this should not be more than 24 hours. During that time, the person might change his or her mind, get money from someone else or find another solution.

At the same time, you will be able to steel yourself to say no or ask for advice from a trusted person.

3. Have a rule and practice it

Create a rule against lending money, and stick to it. It can be personal or shared with your suppose. This way, your rejection will be more generalised than personal. If you state this rule to anyone in your social circles and environments, don't make exceptions which might create resentment.

4. Be punctual

Never delay a response beyond a day. Avoid vague answers and reasons and don't start dodging them. Don't make suggestions that you might help another day. Simply say no and stick to it.

5. Be solid

Avoid excuses and explanations after saying no. Don't use your personal challenges as an explanation or reason not to help. Doing so opens discussions in which they might try to conquer your objections. Stick to your answer, eventually, they will stop asking.

6. Offer other solutions

After understanding the situation and giving yourself time, you might be able to find ways to help them in a different way. Say, groceries, transportation, a place to sleep for a few nights, among others.

7. Gifting

If money is the only option, and you feel that the issue is reasonable and genuine, give the money as a gift instead of a loan. This way you remove the expectation of repayment and you might be pleasantly surprised to get it in the future.

8. Return the gesture

If the person has a habit of doing this, tell them you were about to ask for a loan from them. This will let them know that you don't have a surplus to lend and they might get a taste of their medicine. He or she might understand the pressure that comes with declining a loan request from a friend.