What amounts to abuse in an intimate relationship?

I didn’t know whether to call it patience, lack of self-love or stupidity of the highest level. You might have come across some article still doing rounds on social media about toxic love. I had never felt so sorry and angry at the same time after reading the article by Kisauti.

The girl in question stayed in an abusive relationship for 8 years. She would plan to quit but she would always get her way back to the abusive partner. What’s even sad is that our parents still propagate the retrogressive idea of persevering an abusive relationship.

Anyway, this got me asking, what really amounts to an abusive relationship? You’d be surprised that you have been in an abusive relationship all this while.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 10-69% of women will report being physically abused by a male intimate partner at some point in their lives. Studies further show that 40-70% of female murder victims were killed by their husbands or boyfriends.

ALSO READ: My dad was abusive and an alcoholic – Former Mother in Law actress opens up

Types of abuse in intimate relationships

WHO defines intimate partner violence as any behavior within an intimate relationship that causes physical, psychological or sexual harm to those in the relationship. So abuse does not just involve battering as most of us think.

It also includes intimidation, belittling, and constant humiliation. If your partner calls you names, tries to make you feel worthless, that is abuse.

We have all heard of women who were ordered to never leave the house so that they don’t interact with others. Or those whose husbands monitored their movements and would later make them explain why they went wherever they went. All these are forms of abuse that we just assume as normal but are red flags to watch out for in an abusive partner.

Forced sex

When you are not in the mood of having sex, your partner shouldn’t force you to. But what really happens? Abusive men force their partners to have sex with them but some women don’t realize this is abuse. I have heard women say that they have no alternative because if they don’t let the man have his way, he will cheat. But don’t we all know of men who cheat in spite of getting lots of sex from their partners?

Now that you know, don’t let anyone abuse you. If you spot any red flags, leave before it’s too late.