Why men should and shouldn't incur costs during dating

"Who told Ugandan girls that every time a man invites you for a date he has to provide transport? Are y’all telling me you can’t afford a ka 20k? Then file for bankruptcy mstewww…," said Paul Owor.

This started a breakdown of payments that women have apparently been excused from for a long time in Africa including dates, and other matters involved in dating.

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A female user had a different point of view to share on the matter, even though it did not go down well with a number of netizens.

Sonia Ankunda@AkankundaSonia, "It’s not about affording transport of 20k, Do you know how much she has invested in herself to come and see you!!! The clothes, makeup, Uber so dat to look good for you… the nxt time Ug men should learn that even if a gal doesn’t ask for transport...women are to be given period!"

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Transport money as a test of character

According to divorce lawyer Justin Lee, men should pay on first dates to test if their date is "entitled." The Canada-based family lawyer made the remarks in a TikTok video which sparked a debate on dating etiquette and gender responsibility during the dating period.

Lee said that paying on the first date is the "best litmus test" for a man.

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"The issue isn't tied to the number of dollars that we're spending at the end of the date. The issue is when we end up paying for someone who has this real sense of entitlement, like this expectation that we will pay. That's precisely why we need to always pay," he said.

In one survey on love and finances conducted by Money and SurveyMonkey, 78% of respondents said they think men should pay for the first date. Surprisingly, 85% of the male respondents were even more likely than women (only 72%) to think that men should foot the bill.

A stubborn cultural norm

According to Kim Elsesser from Forbes, although it is unfair for men to bear the expectation of paying for their female dates, this norm is more detrimental to women. Because of this expectation, which Elsesser calls 'Benevolent Sexism', women struggle to assert themselves in career aspirations, and task performance and it undermines the fight for equality.

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Although many people have suggested that the practice of men paying is part of the transactions men do to increase the likelihood of engaging in intercourse. However, this study refuted those claims when of 17,000 participants, only one man out of six believed that women should engage in sexual activity if the man pays the bill on a date. This shows that paying for first dates and expenses such as transport money is simply a persistent cultural norm towards women.