ADVERTISEMENT

How to make a heartbreak-proof dating list

Stop leaving love in the hands of fate and chance. Make a list and go shopping.

How to make a heartbreak-proof dating list

A strange thing about dating is this:

ADVERTISEMENT

You may go through a number of relationships or talking stages or whatever other species of relationships, all ending for one reason or another. But you will still 'wait' for the right one. Better yet, wait for someone to 'get' you, 'click'.

This is largely not our fault. We have been told the fairytale of meet, love and paradise. The heart wants what it wants (it doesn't know what it needs).

On one hand, we are told love is out of our control. On the other, we are told by society what love should be and look like.

Two things happen:

  1. You play gamble with your heart and settle for anything or fight to settle with anything.
  2. When issues arise, not only are they handled based on a standard outside the relationship, both people learn absolutely nothing from their conflicts and problems. 

Now, if the couple is always at fault, maybe the fairytale and society are wrong and should give the new hero a chance to save the day...

Hero: The List

The list has brought so much order and peace in the procurement and logistics world.

Instead of walking around the supermarket or warehouse until you find what you think you need, you go straight to aisle 6 and get item 9 on your list.

Note down four qualities you want in a life partner. The ones you cannot compromise on. Don't judge the qualities based on what is said about them, choose them because they are important to you.

Why four?

Well, because of human limitations. Also, if you have more than four, you are likely to eliminate most people for a programmed life-like robot.

(replace with your own)

  1. Down to earth or arrogant
  2. Intellectual intelligent or other intelligence
  3. Independent or dependent 
  4. Great sense of humor or serious

This is automatic. Once you decide what you need and want, you will know what you can put up with.

If someone has all four, you will be willing and it will be easier to trade for any other problems or baggage.

You cannot get all good, but if the good you get is worthwhile, you can handle the bad.

Simple dating rules

  1. Respond to their texts in a reasonable amount of time. Forget the games.
  2. Once in a relationship, stop looking.
  3. Once out of a relationship, wait to start looking.
  4. Practice proper hygiene before meeting up.
  5. Only after several dates that show chemistry, can you go for movie dates.
  6. Men pay on the first date
  7. A woman offers to pay on the second or third. If she doesn't, run.
  8. If his profile picture are of him half-naked or in mirrors, he wants one thing.
  9. If you are dating (not exclusive) you don't owe anyone an explanation if you aren't interested.
  10. Know and be honest/fair about what you bring to the table
  11. If every person you date is "bad", it's you.
  12. Love, "the spark" will come as long as the basics (goals, values, beliefs and the list) are covered.
  13. Attraction is key.
  14. You fall for the one who treats you the way you see yourself.

Dating and relationships are magical experiences. They don't magically appear however. They are mirrors that help us understand ourselves in meaningful ways we wouldn't be able to do on our own.

ADVERTISEMENT

Eyewitness? Submit your stories now via social or:

Email: news@pulse.ug

Recommended articles

5 questions we're afraid to ask relationship-abuse victims, survivors

5 questions we're afraid to ask relationship-abuse victims, survivors

10 PG-Rated reasons Ugandan men love 'nyash'

10 PG-Rated reasons Ugandan men love 'nyash'

5 ways couples can survive stressful times

5 ways couples can survive stressful times

Dating red flag: 'Don’t be too serious'

Dating red flag: 'Don’t be too serious'

10 reasons Ugandans are ordering food more than cooking home-made meals

10 reasons Ugandans are ordering food more than cooking home-made meals

6 (other) reasons women love broke men

6 (other) reasons women love broke men

Places around Kampala to shop for Back-To-School based on your salary

Places around Kampala to shop for Back-To-School based on your salary

Tips on how to handle cravings when trying to lose weight

Tips on how to handle cravings when trying to lose weight

10 outdated gadgets that will make you nostalgic

10 outdated gadgets that will make you nostalgic

ADVERTISEMENT