But what happens when the two of you are virgins, raised in strong Christian conservative families where premarital sex is not tolerated?
What happens when it’s your first night together and you have little to no preparation for what to do?
This was what youthful pastors Josh and Joanne Ssenyonga had to contend with on their wedding night back in August 2021.
Now happily married and blessed with a baby boy, the couple looks back with a tinge of embarrassment, but are able and happy to share with their young followership, the details of how they handled their first night together.
For Josh, the wedding night was something he had looked forward to for months.
Despite growing up in a heavily secular environment as a student in the United States and even struggling with pornography addiction for some time, he says, he had managed to keep himself a virgin for 24 years.
This was thanks in part to his father’s stern parenting and good counsel from his mother.
“My dad is a strong man of God and he led us with strong instruction. He and my mom always told me I was to never have sex or even kiss a person before marriage,” Josh recounted.
“Unfortunately, I went to a very secular school where everyone was trying to get with a girl and make out because that was the only way to get validation.”
Many a time, Josh says he had to force himself to withdraw from tempting situations including one time when a friend of his undressed and tried to pin herself on him while they watched a movie.
Leading up to their wedding night, he says, he was so excited and couldn't wait to be with his woman for the first time.
Joanne on the other hand, the stakes were much higher. She too had abstained from sex her whole life, as she had been raised with fear by her parents.
“I grew up in a conservative family where sex was never discussed. When I was a pre-teen I used to think that girls get pregnant by sitting next to boys,” she recalled.
Yet only a few days before her wedding, her parents and relatives who had filled her with fear about sexual relations all her life, were now pumping her with so much information about how good sex is and how she should please her man.
“It was confusing to me; a week before my wedding I had these women talking to me in graphic detail about what I should do. They said my wedding night was to be all about my man and that my needs did not matter. It was traumatising.”
Thankfully, however, her husband turned out to be very considerate on their first night, making it less stressful.
“I was glad that he came out completely the opposite of what I had feared. He tried to cater for me and make it about me.”
In the end, she says, they were able to “figure things out” together and even ended up getting pregnant in the first month of their marriage.