This Youtuber shows how to make a love spell: Here's why it's problematic

The Youtuber Cute Flora shows how to create a love spell using a garlic bulb, paper, pen, and scissors. She says the spell aims to make your lover or partner realise your value, desire you among the many, and want to be with you alone.

The underlying message of love spell vendors is that there are natural laws for love. According to these spell casters, much as love is a mystery or choice born out of one's free will, there are physical laws that can influence it.

It is often said that the best things in life are free, and unconditional love given freely has to be the best of them. But that saying is also blind to the frustration that comes with finding or keeping love.

Love spells can be a harmless shortcut through insecurity and frustration as Anna Miller from The Sacramento Bee says. As long as the caster has pure intentions and their target is already in love.

But when you only have yourself to question and justify your intentions, it can be tricky. Especially when you're going through a tough time with love or even when you're thriving and don't want to leave that paradise.

Whether they work or not, here's the problem with love spells.

Whether they work or not, here's the problem with love spells Pulse

They discourage improvement and growth

If you shield yourself with love spells you cannot change the real problems that may be causing issues in your relationship. Hardships bring opportunities to communicate and adjust.

Moreover, when you use a love spell you break your own trust and deepen your insecurity. What you are telling yourself is "I cannot be loved or get love without supernatural help," while ignoring your contribution to issues and your happiness.

On the other hand, you leave the love spell to take care of fixing problems instead of getting rid of them by addressing them and working out solutions.

They set impossible standards for others

This may be collateral but using love spells can create idealised relationships. Having this sort of fictional love story can lure close friends into thinking their relationships are bad in comparison.

Relationships have highs and lows, and friends and family offer support in between. Using love spells can make you cut yourself off from this support community and breed ill conduct in the process.

Emotional abuse

You can view your partner as a toy. Partnerships work based on mutual respect and shared values. However, people change over time within their individuality and sometimes that means leaving relationships.

By the time you cast the spell, it means they have shown you signs you don't agree with. So a love spell creates an illusion of control for your benefit rather than for mutual benefit. You can be tempted to punish them for trying to distabilise the relationship or tell yourself the relationship is more important than what your partner thinks or feels.

Infidelity

The illusion of security can also encourage infidelity. If you are not afraid of losing your relationship because it has been spellbound, you can be tempted to undermine that relationship.

Takeaway

Practice caution with yourself when seeking out solutions for love. Intentions may be pure but that may not be enough to justify certain behaviour in most aspects of life. Whether it is love spells or relationship advice, it is always better to communicate with your partner about what you feel.