Twitter user @HenpeckedHal posts snippets of his 22-year-old cousin's growing pains. From learning to live on his own, to dating escapades. Recently, said cousin met a girl that sent him on a scavenger hunt for her phone number.
10 innocent mistakes that ruin your dating life forever
These habits and traits will ruin your dating life and chance at finding love.
The replies range from helpful to criticism of the young man's chivalry.
Although it is heart-warming to see that chivalry is still kicking somewhere, it is also telling of what needs to be done to continue protecting what's left of it.
Avoid these 10 things at all costs if you want a healthy dating life throughout your adulthood. Mainly because they are habit-forming which will be hard to break down the road.
1. Coming on too strong
Once you know what you want from a potential partner, keep your plans for the future, hopes and dreams to yourself. It is intimidating for your prospective dates. It can be overwhelming and it negates the natural process of how relationships develop naturally.
2. Being rigid
Burn that checklist of what you expect from potential partners. Being rigid in your wants, expectations will put off many people. Look at people as individuals don't judge them by their political affiliations or financial situation or accomodation. It is good to have strong beliefs but interrogating your dates and judging or criticising them will only make you off putting.
3. Simping or performing
Early in dating or relationships you want to put your "best" self out there. But this is not sustainable. Your true self will come out and you will only have yourself to blame if the other person doesn't like that. Be yourself at all times and remember that whoever you try too hard to impress is probably not good for you.
4. Forgetting past relationships
Not learning from past relationships sets you up for a trail of broken ones. Acting like each relationship is a new beginning with a "new" you will ensure that you never learn or outgrow certain things and experiences.
5. Moving fast
Resist the temptation to do everything almost at once. Forget about milestones and appearances and take time to be with someone. If you find that you cannot pace the relationship, break it off instead of going with the rush of feelings and plans. It will save you heartbreak and an addiction to the rush down the road.
6. Brushing off red flags
You want to be in a relationship or date someone so bad that you make excuses for things and actions that you feel are not right. You are setting yourself up for abuse, dating similar bad personalities and losing your values and self-respect.
Be cautious about posting new relationships or dates on social media. Firstly, if the other person finds out, it might rub them the wrong way. Secondly, you will suffer humiliation if it doesn't work out. Or worse, you will try to hold onto relationships for public appearances.
8. Disregarding boundaries
Set boundaries from the start. Yes be relaxed and enjoy your time getting to know someone, but you need to respect yourself starting with boundaries. State what you need and desire, and how you will want to be treated. It is hard coming back to boundaries after the relationship has sailed.
9. Sexual incompatibility
Sex with a new partner might not be 5 stars at first. But if it becomes a common occurence, it might be a sign that you are not the right fit. It can be awkward and scary to bring up but don't convince yourself that things will work out. Address the matter as soon as possible.
10. Excess availability
Forgetting your friends, interests, family, hobbies and whole life to be or communicate with a partner is not healthy. It creates codependency tendencies and fosters toxic habits.
The love bubble always bursts. The question is whether you will land on your feet in your established life or break down everytime.
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