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In the Ankole region in western Uganda, divorce and separation were traditionally seen as painful and rare events.
The customs surrounding marriage in this patrilineal society worked to ensure that couples, even in times of conflict, could reconcile and avoid dissolution of their union.
Read: Museveni on why ‘love at first sight’ is not the Ankole way of marriage
The dissolution of marriage in Ankole was considered an extraordinary event, often discouraged unless specific circumstances, such as infertility, arose.
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Women were expected to refrain from arguing with their husbands, and bigger conflicts often stemmed from issues such as sexual refusal, abusive behaviours, or disobedience.
Some courageous women could fail to tolerate their husbands' frequent bad habits, such as beatings, rebukes and abuses and decide to argue with them.
Further, husbands could become too harsh with their wives, despite the wife’s patience and tolerance.
In the event of serious conflicts, the man’s elders helped to reconcile the two, mainly through constant counselling and advice. Many marriages are saved at this stage
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Role of Bridewealth and Elders in Divorce
In cases where reconciliation failed, temporary separation was sometimes the solution, with the wife either voluntarily returning to her parents’ home or being sent by her husband.
This practice, known as “okwangana,” allowed both parties to cool off and reflect before the potential for final divorce was considered.
The aggrieved party would put its case before the elders, composed of relatives, friends and neighbours of the woman’s parents.
The defending side is also given the opportunity to respond. If the wife were found guilty, her parents would pay a fine to the husband before he takes her back.
On the other hand, if the man was guilty, he would be fined before he got his wife back.
The fine ranged from a few pots of beer to a bull, depending on the seriousness of the case.
The couple was then counselled in ways of avoiding future marriage conflicts.
However, in some cases, where the disagreements and conflicts were too serious for the elders to resolve, a man became incompatible with his wife; separation was then allowed.
Sometimes the separation could be temporary. Reconciliation could still be possible after several months of estrangement.
But if a woman is found to be a witch, abusing the parents-in-law or guilty of equivalent misbehaviour, the husband's family would not tolerate her.
The husband would divorce her ("okubinga omukazi").
Divorce became effective if it was followed by the return of bridewealth ("okuzimuura enjugano").
Return of bridewealth severed all marital bonds and withdrew sexual rights of the man over the woman.
Importantly, children of the dissolved marriage remained with the first husband, and the wife was not permitted to take them with her into her new union.
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The Changing Landscape of Marriage in Ankole
While traditional marriage practices in Ankole were designed to discourage divorce and promote reconciliation, modern shifts in societal structures have started to influence these customs.
With increasing education and economic empowerment, many women are now able to own property, which has given them the confidence to leave unhappy or abusive marriages.
This shift, while empowering women, has also led to growing concerns from some men who fear losing traditional authority within the household.
Although divorce rates in Ankole are still relatively low, they are rising due to factors like financial independence, shifting gender roles, and evolving societal expectations.
National statistics suggest that divorce rates across Uganda are influenced by infidelity, financial difficulties, domestic violence, and improved social acceptance of divorce.