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Ugandan socialite Bad Black has admitted feeling trapped in and weighed down by her past life.
The 35-year-old born Shanitah Namuyimbwa shared an emotional account of her troubled past in a candid conversation with Pastor Wilson Bugembe on her YouTube channel.
Opening up about her early years as a sex worker on Kampala’s streets, she revealed the deep guilt and pain that continues to haunt her despite her efforts to move forward.
“There are times I lock myself in the room and cry,” she said. “I started off so young as a sex worker. Even if I go and spend the night praying on the mountain in Mukono, the past still comes back to me.”
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Bad Black run away from her mother’s home at 15 due to abuse and poverty.
She was taken in by a group of sex workers who, after only three days, pushed her into the trade to fend for herself.
The first experience, she said, was harrowing, but she soon became desensitised and began snatching men’s wallets to survive.
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Her first client she recalls, was a Russian man who was shocked by her age, that he beat her up questioning what she was doing in a bar.
Within six months however, she had mastered the streets and turned into a “commando”
The Pain of Motherhood and a Haunting Decision
Recently, her first born daughter turned 18.
She told the pastor that she broke down in tears during the birthday celebrations as she reflected on her own life.
“At her age, I was in the city robbing men,” she said, describing the pain of realising how different her daughter’s life is compared to hers at that age.
One of the most haunting moments she shared was a decision to abort a pregnancy out of anger.
Her daughter’s dad had denied paternity and abandoned her, but later came back to her when he realised how well she was doing financially.
When he got her pregnant again she decided not to have the baby.
“This time I aborted it and took the fetus to his doorstep in a polythene bag,” she said.
“I told him I couldn’t have another child with him,” she admitted.
While she has found ways to forgive herself for many of her actions, this particular moment continues to weigh heavily on her heart.
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A Cry for Healing
“I feel like all the other sins I have committed are forgivable, but this still sits with me. Will I ever be healed, or is this something I will have to take to my grave?” she asked, her voice filled with desperation.
Pastor Bugembe’s AdvicePastor Bugembe offered spiritual guidance, reminding her of God’s boundless forgiveness.
“The most important thing to know is that there is nothing too great in the eyes of God. He reigns supreme,” he said.
He urged Bad Black to strengthen her faith, emphasising that faith must outweigh fear. “Only your faith will help. It is up to you,” he added, offering hope for redemption and healing.