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Book review: how an engineer diagnosed with bipolar ended up a presidential adviser

“I want to see President Museveni. I have a strategy to save the economy,” Bergumisa declared outside State House Nakasero while addressing rather unimpressed military officers. They had no idea he was mentally disturbed and so beat him up badly for offering unwarranted advice to the president.

The book cover

This is an excerpt from a book by Eng. Begumisa Musinguzi, who suffers from bipolar disorder.

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In his book “In Search of Sanity: How my Bipolar Disorder turned into a Blessing”, he chronicles his rollercoaster experience with alternating periods of intense mania (high energy and activity) and severe depression (low energy and mood).

Musinguzi, an accomplished engineer who worked with The Uganda National Roads Authority (UNRA) before going into private practice, recalls that when he was in high school he always seemed to be in and out of school clinic treating ailments such as ulcers, headaches, fevers, drowsiness and fatigue.

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Although prescribed with what turned out to be placebos, he found little relief.

So, being a devout Christian, he turned to God for solace. But like a shadow darkening his every waking moment, he couldn’t break free of these ailments which beset him from all directions.

Feeling surrounded and under siege, he immersed himself in school activities and was elected Chairman of the Pan African Club, Secretary of the Young Christian Students, Treasurer of the German Club, Editor Sunday Special, member of the Chapel Council and the Debating Club while at St. Mary’s College, Kisubi.

Always an overachiever, he seemed set to defeat his ailments through dint of achievement and hard work.

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Sadly, this wasn’t to be so as he started getting panic attacks and bone-chilling nightmares.

To compound matters, his academic work tumbled down a ravine as he completely lost grip of his life.

His first mental breakdown happened while he was at Makerere University.

Thoughts of failure (or what he perceived as failure) tortured him.

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Especially when he recalled that his uncle had also suffered mental illness and was forced to drop out of university.

“Was it my turn? Was my fate sealed?” Musinguzi asked himself.

Then his aunt, Dr. Margaret Mungherera, took him to the Midland Consultation Clinic in Mengo.

It was there that he was first prescribed Lithium, Carbamazepine and Haldol. And so it was official, he had bipolar disorder.

Identifying the problem was a major step in the direction of alleviation and management of his illness.

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Still, life didn’t improve immediately. In fact, he suffered even more setbacks.

He had to do re-takes for the course units he had flunked and he also had to contend with the shame he felt from being “sick”.

This feeling of shame had psychosomatic effects as he suffered hallucinations and a blackout, even though he was on medication.

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“I want to see President Museveni. I have a strategy to save the economy,” he declared outside State House Nakasero while addressing rather unimpressed military officers.

Not knowing he was unhinged, these soldiers beat him to a pulp.

The book recounts his time in Butabika Hospital, how his faith became his anchor and how he fell in love with his wife Grace after she said, upon learning he had bipolar, “It’s okay, Andrew. I am willing to risk with you. I have seen potential in you”.

Those were powerful words.

Sometimes we just need people to believe in us to make us believe in ourselves. This made all the difference for Begumisa.

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This story is essentially about one man’s journey towards sanity helped along by support systems defined by love and understanding.

The love that comes with faith, family and fealty to one’s self.

The author’s mental state would never have been reversed towards recovery without this love.

Begumisa engagingly shows us how his condition had adverse effects on his life, including on his relationships and his capacity to participate in society.

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He also relates how he got in touch with his feelings and perceptions; this had a positive effect on numerous psychiatric and stress-related symptoms he had long endured.

All through this wonderful book, he invites the reader to witness his determination to restore the proper balance in his life between his faith, family, fear, and illness and how he views his place in the universe.

Inspiringly, he always sought God during his darkest moments and this led to his finding purpose in life through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

This couldn’t work in isolation, however.

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His faith had to come into play with a number of supports, emotional and inspirational, which have restored Bergumisa to health and made him one of the top engineers in the country.

It’s fascinating that this guy who was once beaten for thinking he could personally advise President Museveni is now officially advising the president after having beaten a path to his own sanity.

This book is book will touch and inspire anyone who reads it.

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