Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a butchery disguised as a movie

The bloody nature of this movie, full of human flesh flying all over the place, is enough to make you eat a stick of pork and throw up a whole pig!

A gore-laden movie Pulse Live Uganda

It is disgusting, even more disgusting than the original 1974 Texas Chain Saw Massacre by Tobe Hooper.

This 2022 version of that movie, like a Stella Nyanzi poem, seems to be going for shock value.

It starts with a fresh-faced group of teens arriving in the ghost town of Harlow. There are only three inhabitants in this town.

Amongst this hattrick of a population, of course, lurches danger.

However, the teens are there to create a new world far away from city life.

Indeed, these kids would surely have achieved their goal if they had not made the mistake of evicting Leatherface’s adopted mother from her home and accidentally killing her in the process.

Guess whose face this is Pulse Live Uganda

She kept Leatherface, the Chain Saw killer, in his room away from killing anyone with his extremely scary appearance and, oh yeah, his chainsaw.

The characters in this movie are so boring, I wish Will Smith could have been employed just to slap them all.

The violence is mindless.

Leatherface goes on a killing spree with lots of blood and smashed-in heads that will make you go vegetarian for life, if you insist on watching this movie with a muchomo meal.

The guy uses a chainsaw, a butcher-knife and a bad hair day to kill more people than a genocide.

Run, he's comimg for you Pulse Live Uganda

Plus, he’s bullet proof, surviving shotgun blasts.

He is also panga-proof, being immune to knife wounds. Oh yes, he also seems to be a part-time fish since he survives drowning too.

A sleep-inducing cast Pulse Live Uganda

There’s a slight attempt at humour in this very bad movie when Leatherface approaches a bunch of kids who have their phones held up to film how terrible he looks and one of them warns him, “Try anything and you’re cancelled, bro.”

If only Chris Rock had said that to Will Smith.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre has one good point, however: it last for only 74 minutes before the credits roll.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Director: David Blue Garcia

Screenwriters: Chris Thomas Devlin, Fede Alvarez, Rodo Sayagues

Starring: Sarah Yarkin, Elsie Fisher, Mark Burnham, Jacob Latimore, Moe Dunford, Olwen Fouéré, Jessica Allain, Nell Hudson