Movie review: 'Marry Me' is divorced from good cinema

To be sure, which man would turn “J-Lo” down?

Two lovable actors in an unlovable movie Pulse Live Uganda

This is exactly what the premise of this Uga-wood level movie is about.

Okay, not exactly. But every close: Jennifer Lopez is Kat Valdez, an international pop diva whose cute little duet with her fiance, Bastian (Colombian singer Maluma), could take over the world of music.

The cute little duet is called “Marry Me,” and at a concert which is going to stream their performance of this song live to the world, Kat and Bastian plan to say their vows before 20 million fans.

You get it, they are going to get married like the Kardashians would: in front of everyone.

Well, sort of.

Owen Wilson and Jeniffer Lopez Pulse Live Uganda

Things don’t go as planned as Bastian is caught cheating on video and the video is leaked online. You know, like the Kardashians.

In front of millions, Kat his humiliated and so she does what any superstar in her stilettoes would do: marry the guy in the audience holding a placard which reads, wait for it, Marry Me.

The guy holding the placard is a divorced Maths teacher named Charlie, played by Owen Wilson.

Of course, the two don’t know each other but that doesn’t stop a rational man like Charlie (he’s attending the concert with his 12-year-old daughter) from saying yes.

I just wonder why he didn’t scream “Hell Yeah!”, this is J Lo we are talking about folks.

“Marry Me” then degenerates into a film that sounds as pleading as its title as Charlie and Kat seem, rather disappointingly, out to reprise to roles of Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts in the 1999 romantic comedy, Notting Hill.

Red Hot diva Pulse Live Uganda

“Marry Me” is also a 112-minute, second-rate follow-up to Lopez’s first-rate star turn in 2019’s Hustlers.

Although she remains disarmingly sexy, J-Lo, in this movie, is about as appealing as yesterday morning’s Katogo breakfast at Nalongo’s joint, deep in Kisenyi slum.

Owen Wilson is predictably okay, and that’s the problem. He is like the kid in high school who always got a C, but had the potential to get an A+.

Standup comic Sarah Silverman plays Charlie’s wisecracking best friend, and she does a decent job of it. But not decent enough to save “Marry Me” from being left at the altar of its own complete failure to impress.